Jokes the Academe has Ruined for Me Forever:
The insomniac dyslexic atheist lies awake all night
wondering if there is a dog. The narcoleptic Nietzschean
falls asleep at the wheel, and awakens to find
he has run over the dog — backwards.
The bipolar Kantian is glad it’s a dog, and then envies a dog’s freedom
to run on all fours, to hump fire hydrants. And then he’s glad again.
It’s just a dog.
The nearsighted Cartesian steps out of his house to witness the disaster.
He cannot —
for the life of him —
believe his eyes.